Sleep was weird again. I don’t remember this from before. Interesting to see if it will stabilize. I spent the morning on the couch for the pain. I thought about skipping kratom today if I could, but then I realized the only way I could do that would be to spend the day on the couch. Took 3.5g and then went for a long walk. Walks are re-distanced at 1, 1.5, 2 miles now BTW. Went grocery shopping. I realized I don’t even know how to take care of myself anymore. I bought shit food. I’m so used to just getting by with garbage food and struggling everywhere else. So bad. I felt myself dip mentally when I left the store. I think the meds were a bit strong this morning. Probably the high wearing off. My goal is to not feel high, but to just feel pain relief. I had a pretty empty stomach today. Went for a 3.5 mile walk in the forest. I felt the pain hit half way, then I immediately notice the mental effects. Once it passes an 8, it’s central and it’s mental. I need a central agent to bring the pain back down to a 7 or below. I don’t know what the perfect drug is for that. I already had the pain meds in me and it still happened, but it was a big effort. Put an ice pack on it and feel better. Looking to go out again, but I’m probably overdoing it. I don’t know how to balance it. And I am bored. Pretty tired right now. Mild constipation already today. Another 1.5 walk. Played games. Feeling that nasty pain coming on right now. Exactly when I would re-dose. Funny that. I’m going to try to get through the night without. Ice pack. Had the ice pack for an hour. Mental shit came back. Did a walk, slow. Felt better, pain came back. I kind of regret not dosing. I just need to accept kratom as part of my life I guess. Feeling a touch of the physical panic. Maybe that’s just a withdrawal symptom, but of every drug I took. I also didn’t feel the groin thing earlier, but I do now. Another short walk, games. Made it through.