Took 3.5 at 9am. 3g at 11:40. Felt the pain coming back strong. Did a medium walk only this morning. Pain has been overtaking me. Kratom is not really helping like I remember it doing. I feel like 3 times a day is a bad idea. My brain will freak out over night and want more. We’ll see if this does anything positive for me. I’m so worried about how I’m going to be able to support myself and get by without a massive amount of pain meds. I can even tolerate the idea of being on meds, but the thought of quitting scares the crap out of me. I took 3 because I still feel a little bit of the first dose in me. I don’t know how topping up works – only 2.5 hours later. This might be too much, I might have to take more. I don’t feel a thing at 40 minutes. No improvement in pain. I won’t take more. I’m waiting until 3:30 for the next dose. I can’t ramp up this much. I am so fucked when pain meds don’t even help the pain. 5g at 3:30 of the red. .8 more at 4:15. It’s doing nothing for my pain. Been playing DBD for a few hours trying to distract myself. I’m nearing peak anxiety over this pain today. The kratom was always my fallback. At least I can take that and get by. Now what? I’m pretty scared right now. Managed a short walk. Had the physical panic feeling in my arms. Let’s see what kind of shit show tomorrow brings!