Bad pain today. Went to Walmart and it fucking hurt. I don’t know why the stores make it hurt more. 5.5g at 9am. Woke up at 8 I think. Pretty good sleep. Waiting until 3pm for 6g. It hurts quite a bit. Have had ice on it most of the day. Had a little panic attack. Pain ramped up really high. Ice wasn’t helping. Really got into my head. The uncontrollable thoughts about how this is going to be like this forever and I’m permanently fucked. I layed down on the couch and played a game and it helped. Put the ice pack away. Fuck. Really difficult. I feel better now, and the pain is better. Back in the recliner and the pain came back. I feel the panic coming back. Up moving around. Ice pack back on. How can the pain be this fucking bad? I desperately need money. I’m so worried. Goddamn is this pain bad. Really driving me nuts. It definitely drives up the anxiety. Probably tomorrow morning I will have low anxiety and wonder why I was so desperate last night. That happens regularly. Treating the anxiety can calm the pain a bit, but that’s really a stop gap at best. It never lasts, it’s super inconsistent, and I don’t know of any meds that can do it. How the fuck do I make money? I’m bleeding money like crazy. All I do is worry about pain, money, the drugs I take to get through the days.