Horrible pain again today. Kratom didn’t do much. Had vertigo at some point. Not completely deaf in my ear, and it faded quickly. I thought I got away with it, but the dizziness hit really hard like an hour later. Right when I took pm kratom. 5.5 am, 6g pm +1g after. I didn’t feel that pm kratom at all. Felt tons of pain and dizziness. Kept the panic away most of the day, but feel absolutely awful. What do I do when the addictive pain meds don’t even help?? I have nowhere else to go. Surgical appt in 2 days. Probably pointless. I don’t even feel like I can get myself to Maywood for the appointment. I probably need dad to drive. I need to call him tomorrow. I couldn’t today for feeling so shitty. I think the part of kratom that really helps me is the serotonin part. Not the opioid part. How do I get a daily dose of serotonin like that? Ketamine did it. Amazing that it helped with pain so much. I’ve never had a feeling like that from anti depressants. Started ashwagandha today.