Typical sleep. I forced it in the morning and ended up waking up at 8:30. Felt WDs and a lot of pain. Better after 6g of jarred red at 9:15. Short walk. Pain is bad, but mood is decent. Just got 4 different reds in the mail. the Vietnam has a high 7OH%, so I’ll try that to see if that does anything different. This could totally derail me. I have a few to try and I’ll stick with the best one. No pain relief anywhere else. No ability to taper down right now. Dying at 2:15. Pain really bad. N relief from ice or anything. Don’t know how much longer I can last. Was working on laptop trying to install Linux and screen was flickering badly and made me feel sick. That’s about when the pain ramped up. Not sure it’s related or not, but generally feel very poopy right now. 7g of the red Vietnam at 3:15. Nothing special at all from it. Lots of pain at 5:30. Barely felt it when I took it. I think it’s going to be a tough night. definitely up to 6.5g tomorrow morning. I have a red Borneo up next. In my past experience, the reds were weaker, so this is expected. I knew switching around would fuck me up. I can’t get past this latest flare up. I don’t know where it came from or how to get rid of it. I think the table allowed me to feel better, but that’s done. Feeling nervous right now about the pain levels. I swear I feel mild WDs. I bet I wake up early and I have to 3 dose tomorrow. Short walk. Very hard. Feeling panic now. Pretty strong. 7:10. Oh how easily this shit sets in. The panic, the psychosis. 2 weeks of hard work tapering and exercising gone in 2 days. I haven’t felt this level of panic in quite some time. Psychosis even longer. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and now it’s long gone. How fucking cruel. Also, I feel like I haven’t taken any kratom all day and the evening WDs are setting in. Like a day off. Managed some D2 strikes. Sort of paralyzed in the chair with the ice pack. My head feels like shit. Lots of pain and moderate WDs. Thinking strongly of a couple beers after this last strike. Shitty days right now. Good pop on the table. Felt like some relief. Not pain relief, but relief. 3 beers. They actually helped. Usually I end up feeling worse. Tomorrow is another story. I’ll probably sleep shitty and wake up early. I’m still seeing a 3 dose day.