Most horrifying night ever. I felt strong WDs before I even fell asleep. Took 1 GABA proactively. Woke up in like 45 minutes. Took another GABA, half Zanaflex. Finally took a Tamazepam. at like 1:30. Still couldn’t sleep. Had some central apnea. When I dozed off, I had some strong convulsions. Jerks. Went to the couch, back to bed, back to couch, back to bed. I probably got 4 hours sleep total. Pain felt completely horrifying in the morning. Woke up at 8. Took 4g of the jarred red at 9:00. What a fucking disaster. I felt maxed out on drugs that could help me. I thought of taking kratom at 3am. No idea how that would have gone with sleep. Holy fuck. 10am now and I still feel very shitty. Kratom isn’t doing much. I feel it, but it’s not really helping the pain. Without sleep, I don’t think there is any way it could. Been struggling all day. I don’t feel like I got any benefit from yesterday’s day off. 4g this morning was not enough. Maybe it’s just the lack of sleep. I felt like doing a 3 dose day, but I’m sticking it out until maybe 2:30. Horizontal all day. I feel stupid for going through yesterday. I guess yesterday wasn’t the problem, it was the night time that followed. I should probably save up 2 or 3 days before I try again, but if/when I do, it’s full committal. The pain is horrifying today, but I think most of that is lack of sleep and the terror I just went through. I think I would be fine otherwise. No idea how to do that though. Felt some twinges of strong WDs earlier. 5g of green at 2:15. I can re-dose if needed, and if it wears off early tonight I’ll have some beers. I can’t take this anymore. It’s not like day 1 WDs. Anxiety is actually OK. I’m just so fucking tired, pain is bad, and there are occasional strong WDs like at night. No temperature issues. I haven’t thought about last night all day thankfully, but I know I won’t soon forget it. It will taint future quit attempts. +1g at 3. Don’t feel anything. I have to refill my drug tank right now. I have received zero benefit from yesterday. Felt OK for a while. Crashing a bit at 6:30. The kratom pushed me past the tiredness, but it’s back. I really wonder what tomorrow would be like if I skip. Especially the night. I don’t believe I’m even thinking about it. Short walk. Good start, rough ending. Really rough late in the evening. Exhaustion setting in. Feels the same as on a day off, but without WDs of any kind. Sleep should fix this, but it doesn’t fix actual WDs, nor is sleep even possible apparently.