Sleep was better. Woke up at 7, piss, half Zanaflex. Woke up at 9:30. That felt good. Pain was better than yesterday. 5.5g at 10. Still woke up a lot from pain. So hard to stay asleep with this level of pain. Felt better late at night though. I don’t know if it was the table, or shit just happening. There is no consistency. I felt like I forced myself into the shower, but as soon as I got out, I felt better. Good reminder to keep TRYING to move forward. Very important after such a terrible, long streak of being totally sedentary. Medium walk. Very slow toward the end. New kratom arrived. I’ll try the green Vietnam first. It’s a bit stronger than what I’ve been using. Also fresher. Maybe 6g. Not fresher. Lots of air in the bag. Smelled oxidized. 6.5g at 3. +.5 35 minutes later. Trying to be proactive with this, staying ahead of the pain. It’s been a tough few hours. 2 days ago I got better as the day went on. Yesterday was shit. Today started OK., then went to shit. I did a long table session this morning, which I think helped, then another long one in the afternoon, which I think hurt. Again, no consistency anywhere. It’s building a bit. I might regret the extra half gram. But still no pain relief. Yeah, lots of side effects, no pain relief. Fun. This has been such an oppressive week. It’s really wearing on my brain. Usually after taking time off the drug, it works better. It has only been worse this time around. I don’t know how to get out of this tailspin. Day off? I need to have a better day than I’ve been having for that. Church walk. I can’t take much more of this. My head feels totally fucked up. Pain is bad. I feel awful. I’m spaced out, and I can only focus on being spaced out and in pain. I feel like I haven’t had a decent day in 2 weeks. Nothing close to my normal.