* (started Lyrica) Woke up at 6:30. Didn’t drug myself because of the appt. Took 6.5g crisp at 7:45. Appointment went as expected. No real help. I was having it out with the NP. She insisted it wouldn’t be another 8 months. Procedure got scheduled for 4.5 months! This is the biggest joke in healthcare. AND I have to repeat the injections. AND the doctor could make me do both at different times, which would be longer than 8 months. Was just looking at SSD lawyers – $7200. Blue cross – $640/month. If I apply today, it would start Jan 1. Otherwise Feb 1. I don’t think I’m ready to deal with this. I’m not even in my right mind. God I need help. Also SSD takes 3-5 months to get. If I get Blue Cross, I should be back on my feet by mid February. I wish I had done that back in March. No clue what to do. 7g of Vietnam at 1:30. Decided to try a 2 dose day. I usually get by OK. at night. Usually! I am so fucking spent and in so much pain right now. Very tough couple of days. Passed out at about 4. Thank fuck for that. Feel much calmer now. Twice this week. Limped through the evening. Mostly on the couch. I didn’t miss the meds all that much. I probably will tomorrow morning. I wonder if this is better than 3/day dose. Lyrica 2/day 25mg each. Therapeutic dose is like 300/day, so I don’t expect anything. I can’t find any interactions with kratom, so I’ll give it a go.