Couldn’t fall asleep until after midnight. Been up since 4:30. Furnace was fucking up. Short cycling like crazy. Finally got up at like 6:30. Even though I took full Zanaflex at 5. I think it was low gas pressure and it resolved itself once the sun came up. Well fuck me. I actually feel better pain wise. I could have given today a try for a day off. Not with no sleep. Not with being awake an extra 4 hours. 7g at 10:20. I fell asleep for 20 minutes before the kratom. I felt a small pop on the table last night before bed. Not in the perfect spot, but it’s the first pop in a week. Had tons of pain sleeping though. Hard to tell really how I feel today with the lack of sleep. Fuck me once again. 12:00, feeling OK. Had an appetite. At least I’ve been wearing pants. 7.5g at 3:30. No real relief from it, but I think that’s OK. I feel better today. I actually was thinking of 7g, but the pain was creeping up. Been an OK day considering I’ve been up since 4:30. Not sure how to go forward. Try a day off again and reset tolerance and make the drugs work better. Or force a taper. Tried a walk. As soon as I got outside, I could feel how limited I was. Did a church walk. Pretty slow. It’s been a decent day, but certainly not good. Less sore than I have been. Better range of motion. No pops on table. I don’t know what the fuck it takes. I still haven’t had my drop off yet. The higher dose I take, the worse that drop off is. It’s like on a bad day I shouldn’t take anything. It kind of hurts more in the end. I’m so bored. Tired of being couch locked. I’ve been so out of my mind lately that I haven’t even noticed it. Wish I could play games. 8:30, felt like I needed some rum. I want to break out of that pattern. Moved to bed. So tired. I don’t have much longer to go. I need to tough it out. Too bad I will still wake up at 4:30 again tomorrow and lose even more sleep.

By Del