Could not get to sleep again. Maybe about 2am. Holy fuck. Super crazy. Might be the kratom working strongly. Driving me nuts. I don’t feel awful. today at least. Woke up just before 9. Wanted to taper more, but was unsure. Took 6.2 at 10. Maybe 7.2 later. That is still .6 taper, which is great. 7g would be .8. Short walk. Pretty warm outside. It hurt a lot. Leaned on the cane hard and ended very slow. I’ve been picking up the cane for parts of my walks lately. Glad I had it today. Played some games and I’m near crisis state from it. I sure hope the pm dose actually works. How quickly it turns. definitely the higher amount. 7.2 at 3:30. I wish I could have taken less. I think it’s winding me up at night. Although I was in a lot of pain last night before I went to sleep. It’s helping now. I’m upright again. I did the table (pop) and the magnesium oil and felt better. Temporarily. Feeling like I’m tanking after dinner. It takes so very little to push me right back over the edge. Feel a bit panicky already. Last week I tanked after doing a morning walk. On day 3 of the streak I think. Same this week. What the fuck?! How do I get back to where I was a couple months ago? I need a good stretch to heal up some of those mental cracks, but I can’t get it. 2.5 days max, and those aren’t even all that great. New kratom tomorrow? Maybe back to 6.5/7.5? Who the fuck knows. I feel like writing a goodbye letter to my sanity. Maybe I’ll see you again in a week. Maybe not. How does this cycle ever stop.