Hard wake up at 8 on the dot. Been trying to stay up later and tire myself out. And this is the result. Fuck me. I’m not sure today is horrifying or not, but the lack of sleep is certainly pushing it over the edge. It might have been a decent day, like a couple days ago when I woke up after 9. I need to go print a shipping label and drop off the knife. I definitely don’t want to leave the house right now. Please help. Also had a ripping headache upon waking up. It’s a bit better now, but still there. 6.5g at 9:30. Had a visit from the tweaky neighbor with the ankle monitor. He saw into the apartment. My paranoia is strong with that one. He asked me to make a phone call, maybe just so he could see in. He asked if I took meds. I guess pain and insanity isn’t enough, so the universe needs to fuck with me even more. Dropped off the knife, so that’s done. 11:20 and I have already peaked. Maybe Zanaflex nap today. Got sidetracked into security cameras for protection from tweaky boy. Trying a homemade setup for it. 7.5g at 3:30. The distraction helped, but pain is bad. Been fucking with the camera thing all day. Put it in place and from the slight amount of moving around, my legs are jello. The atrophy must be really bad from that month off. I feel better mentally for having distracted myself for most of the day. I’m in pain, and I know I’ll probably pay for it tomorrow. Glad to run the hours down more quickly. I suppose I need to start moving again, but every time I do, it puts me over the edge. I don’t know how to do it right now. I don’t have the energy to push through, and I doubt there is another side to push through to. Maybe put that day off on the radar again.