Managed to sleep to 9 with half zanny at 7. Thank fuck for that. Pain is pretty horrifying though. Like wow. It’s less than panic mode only because of the sleep. Took kratom straight out of bed at 9:35 – 6.5g. Paralyzed right now. Pretty much been crisis mode all day. Nearly went to the floor. Occupying myself with looking into camera system builds. More money to spend that I don’t have on something I don’t need. 7.7g at 3:20. I put a bit too much and just kept it. Finally hit the shower at 4:15. Really struggling today. No energy, strong pain, fucked up head. Well, I guess sleep didn’t have nearly as much to do with it as I thought. Managed a short walk. Set out for church walk and said fuck it. If it kills me, it’s night time. Almost ready to start drinking again. I probably need that day off. Went to Binny’s and Target. Got stuff for egg sandwiches. Dad gave me eggs. Got a bottle of rum. That was all very difficult. Very painful. I feel like passing out. I had to fight it a bit driving home. Tomorrow is max dose. I’m cooked as usual.

By Del