My internet radio fucked up last night. Turns out the service is shutting down. That made me obsess about it. Kept waking up thinking of what I needed to do to fix it. Spent time this morning and got it as sorted as I can. A docker compose change and a couple plugins and we’re running. It did reset all my settings though, but that should be good. Dosed lipo c last night and through the night. Woke up feeling like hell. I was ready to crack right away for the pain. I did a double half zanny at 7 and 7:30. Woke up 9:20. 11:45 now and I’m getting by. Right now my goal is to make it to 3:30. That doesn’t buy me much, but maybe a little. I really don’t want to drink to get through. I really don’t. The only way that works is if I wait until after 8. That’s a long way away. I think the radio stuff is solid. Listened to some Death Cab for 20 seconds and it made me emotional. Depressive. That part of a CT quit is so very brutal. Managed to eat lunch. Maintaining right now. Dad wants me to call Uncle Bob to help with Mac issues. No clue how to fit that in. WDs are fine. Pain is a solid 8. It’s always the pain that cracks me. 1:20 Zanaflex. Really struggling from pain. Not much in the way of WDs at all. No kind of craving or anything. Couldn’t sleep with the Zanaflex. Still really bad pain. Now I’m groggy from the Zanaflex. 2:30, trying to last a bit longer. Did 8g at 3:00 last time. Probably the same, then 6.5 tomorrow morning. Hit the shower only so I could put pants on, so I could put an ice pack down the back. 8g at 3:00 with the ice pack. Lord help me. It took 45 minutes, but the kratom started helping. Ice pack actually feels good now. I feel burnt for having gone through that this morning. And the question now is, when do we do it again?! We’ll try to get a day where I sleep late. 5:00 and the pain relief is fading. Still feel heady effects. Going to be tough if the pain is breaking through so early. Had 2 pops on the table. The first one was higher than expected, but it hurt when it happened. Similar to the pain I have there. That might be the actual spot. Then I got another one in the expected spot a bit lower. Took advantage of my closing window and did a short walk while I could. Felt like I needed to turn around right before the half way mark, so I went all the way. Hurts a lot now that I’m home. 6:00. Long way to go. 7:30, very anxious. If nothing else, today reminded me how much my head is in the clouds, hoping/waiting for pain meds to help. I’ve been so completely reliant on them. Maybe this is a call to not rely 100%? Rum at 8:20.