Fell asleep before 11. Sleep was OK. Lots of wake ups obviously. Woke up 7. Half zanny and ibu, but didn’t do anything. Had lots of caffeine and waited to 9:30 and had 7g. Still had a headache when I woke up. Been taking Tylenol. Took advantage of a small window and showered and went to bank/drop off mail. Probably all I’ll be able to do today. Table was OK. Sharp pain in the fused area, but upper area felt OK. Didn’t go too hard, and I could still walk after. Maybe I’ll try to be a bit more aggressive. It’s hard to be on that thing with a migraine. Pain is super bad sitting at computer with brace on. 12:30 and I suddenly hit panic mode. Hard drop off of the meds. I waited 2.5 hours this morning. Now I get to do 3 hours in the afternoon. Drug myself to sleep? Made it to 3. Playing D2 to pass the last half hour. Deceive Inc is free this weekend. I downloaded it and maybe will play. I always wanted to. Let’s see if I have enough ‘fuck it’ in me after the pm dose. Sooo many games I’ve missed out on because of my issues. So much life in general. Every time I think about what I had in Fort Bragg I start losing it. I had everything I ever wanted. The perfect life. Perfect setup. And of course it’s all gone. Just like everything else. 8g at 3:30. Just tried Deceive Inc. So much fucking fun. Kept me on edge. I think it would take a good amount of time to get good. I wish I could do that. It really hurts sitting here though. And I haven’t had it in me to learn a new game. Sadge. Church walk. Trying to play this game, but it hurts so much. Short walk. OK actually. Been a much better day, although pain is still terrible. Been looking at Mexico surgery again. I’m afraid I can’t make a proper decision in my state though. But my god do I want this madness to fucking stop.