Table didn’t feel good at all at bedtime last night. It did the previous couple nights. Sleep was awful again. Drugged myself and woke up at 9 ultimately, with a lot of effort. Ice pack first thing. 6g at 10. Just did table and it did not feel good. Got my stretch in though. Feels different than yesterday. I overdid it yesterday. Between the table, walking, gaming. And I held back on the walking too. I normally would have done 6 miles. I need to chill out today. Mag oil helping atm. Sucks I can’t walk both because of pain and for overdoing it. I think I did an OK. job with the table yesterday. Stay mindful about increasing pain. I’m going to have bad days when chemicals do shitty things in my brain, when I truly overdo it, when I sleep bad, etc. Acid attack? Stomach feels off and I have the full body discomfort that goes along with acid attacks. Took an antacid. Can’t wear the brace like this. All it takes is one small thing like this to completely fuck up my whole day. And of course it happened, because it’s me. I haven’t had an acid issue in 6 months. Why today? Antacid helped, but the damage is done. Not a good day. I’m not sure it would have been anyway. Been horizontal a lot. I guess this will be a “recovery” day. Hopefully there is recovery. Thinking about not tapering this pm. Pain is bad, and I’m not good in really any way. 7g at 3:15. I couldn’t make it to 3:30. +.5g at 4:00. I feel nothing from the main dose. The half gram is stupid, but I’m feeling very desperate. Just did the table, and I can barely feel that tiny bit of relief in the upper area. The lower pain is so bad that it clouds it. And I’m over my limit, so that CNS inflammation takes over. I think that’s ultimately the key – reduce that CNS inflammation. How the fuck do you do that? If you can do that with meds, that would be the holy grail of pain management. Unfortunately doctors don’t understand this shit. Today started OK, and took a big shit as it went on. Usually I wake up feeling like shit, or it hits at night after meds wear off. I even got that extra sleep today. No caffeine today BTW., but everything else was the same. Based on how the pain feels, it doesn’t feel like I overdid it. I’m not excessively sore. The pain is just worse, and now I’m over limit. In a state of mild shock, and that ruins everything. That acid attack was the tipping point today. I recovered a little bit from it, I stayed positive, but it only got worse after that. Church walk. Table again. I can barely feel the decent part, but even the pain was hard to feel. I certainly felt it when I got off the table. Kept it to a minimum. Recovered a bit this evening. Pain is really bad, but I survived. This is the best I can hope for. Short cycles of insanity. No actual progress in my life. No improvement. Just shorter cycles of insanity AT BEST.