I slept with the inflatable brace on. When I was sleeping, it was good sleep, but I woke up so many times. They were long wake ups. Woke up 5:45. 1.5 zanny, ibu, icy hot. Couldn’t sleep. Got out of bed 7:15. Went to couch with ice pack and fell asleep. Moved back to bed. Ultimately up at 9:55. Very slow wake up after that. Very tired and groggy. Meant to measure 6.5g but ended up with 6.8 and said fuck it. 10:00. Did one long table session. Wearing the brace. Maintaining so far. Supposed to go to cousin’s house today. Never a good day for these things. Maybe I’ll leave after the pm dose. It’s important to me to go to family events. Too bad it’s a herculean effort. 7.5g at 3:25 right before I left. Made it to part way to cousin’s house, and got stuck in a protest or something. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to get around it. I ended up being in the car for 45 minutes and didn’t go anywhere. I headed home. Why the fuck am I so cursed? Right at a time when I need the most help, I’m cut off from my own family. Isolated more and more, again and again. I really wish I knew what the fuck I did to piss who/whatever the hell is doing this to me. Fucking giant pussy of a being can’t even confront me to let me know what I did. Only punish me for leading a good life. Punished for trying to see my family. Now this fucks with the entire rest of my night. Short walk. Felt decent actually. Just did the night time table. I’m wondering if I should do this 3 times a day. It hurt more when I was doing it 10 times a day, but not pushing it.

By Del