Sleep was good. Up at 8:40 without zanny. 7g at 9:30. I recovered from the table yesterday. But, I still feel like shit. Pain is really bad. I guess I’m a bit better in the head…or so I think. Probably I’m just off the deep end and don’t know it. I don’t think this new table approach is working any better than the other ways. Once again, I have no fucking clue what to do or how to get any better. I kind of want to play games, but I don’t feel that I can be upright today. I feel that ‘give up’ way today again. If there is pain relief, I can fight, but if it’s horrible, oppressive pain, I have no fight left. I just can’t. Noon. Yeah, kind of struggling. Hanging on atm, but that won’t last much longer. Can’t spend any time upright. Did the table and it hurt a lot. Really hard to walk after. Passed out on the couch just before 3. The day is so very young and I already passed out once. 8g at 3:30. Not much relief. Going to be a very difficult night. Made me upright enough to get an appetite and cook some fish. At least I won’t be eating hot dogs or jello for dinner. After that, the panic will set in and the long evening will begin. Not looking forward to it. Also this headache I’ve had all day is ramping up. 5:45 and the meds have worn off already. Been horizontal already too. Gonna be a loooong 5 hours. Rums at 8:50. It’s making the night go by just a little better. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it’s still pretty fucking bad.