Sleep was only slightly better. Woke up 8:30. 6.5g at 9:40. Pain honestly feels the same, but I just feel better. I’m not in shock today, although there’s still plenty of time. Pants on by 10:30. I feel tired and the pain is bothering me. But I’m good for now. I wish I could walk. Headache in the back of my head starting up. Struggling since about noon. I don’t feel as good as I did yesterday, plus less meds. Been on the couch trying to push through to pm meds. 2.5 hours right now to go. I don’t want to lose the “momentum”. If I can suffer through without going into shock, then I’ll be OK. I think I’m hanging in there. 2:30. Going to try some games to get me through. I might dose at 3 just to make sure I don’t end up in full shock mode. 7.5 at 3:15. Games have been difficult. The harder they are, the more they hurt. I can’t do sweaty stuff, and I’ve been sweating a bit. PM dose didn’t really do anything. Didn’t really even take the edge off. So I guess the pain cycle has tipped back to bad. I’ll somehow make it through tonight and have to be in panic mode all day tomorrow. Again. Yeah, not a good day. Weird how it can start off OK., nothing bad happens, but it just fades. I guess tapering was partly to blame, but I should be able to taper if I feel decent. I’ve done it loads before. 1 rum, 3 beers. Actually felt better for it tonight. Usually it’s a shit show. I really need to get that day off in, but I know there will be a lot of alcohol and I really don’t want to touch the shit at all. I balk every time because I know alcohol is the only way I can get through.

By Del