I feel better today than I did yesterday. The alcohol held off the shock somehow. Pain is pretty bad now, but I guess I’m hanging in. I can’t do anything, but still here. I won’t play games or really leave my couch. Trying to preserve the non-shock state, although I’m super close. 6.5g at 9:40. I know 7 would have helped, but went for the lower amount to push the taper. I know I need that day off, but the pain has just been so unrelenting and without any relief that I just can’t afford to do it. Table felt OK. this morning. 12:30 now and I’m ready for the pm dose. Not suffering hard, not a hard drop off yet, but I need that pain relief. As soon as I typed that, I went and turned on my PC. Finished The Last of Us. Still have the DLC to play. I just started getting immersed in it towards the end. So good when I’m able to do that. I’m usually only able to focus on pain. 7g at 3:30. I hope tapering doesn’t sell out tomorrow by not getting enough pain relief today. Short walk. Hip was hurting a lot, but I had good energy. Started getting to me towards the end though. Had to slow down and relax. Difficult ending to the evening. Pain was bad and the meds have clearly worn off. This definitely isn’t anything like the previous times where I had pain relief and was able to taper. I can taper easily if there is pain relief. I can even quite fairly easily. But I’m not actually getting any real pain relief this time. Just the pain easing up a touch and bringing me out of shock. Nothing more. And when I take less meds, the pain isn’t treated as well, so it starts ramping back up. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow sucks if for no other reason than I under treated it today. I don’t see how I can take 6g tomorrow morning. Maybe if I switch kratom?

By Del