Slightly better day than yesterday, but still tons of pain. I was kind of paralyzed on the couch and couldn’t even get up to take meds. I took 6.5 at 10:15. Not feeling any relief from it. I guess it’s another one of those days. Took Lyrica today. I’ll give it a go for a few days to see if anything happens. theoretically it should help bring me out of shock, but I might need higher doses than 50/day. 11:45 and I feel a bit better. Had lunch. I feel more like the Lyrica is helping. It feels like it’s taking the edge off the shock. Pain is the same, although I have an ice pack on. Now I feel like trying to play some games. I have no desire to build a website. This is the pattern. I can’t do anything I actually need to. I feel so burned out from the previous few days and now I need to relax and decompress. It’s such a horrible and toxic pattern. Got the new kratom in. Definitely fresher. A touch stronger too. I took 7g at 3:30. Heavy on the side effects. Hitting early too. I think this one would be better at lower doses. Short walk. Slow, but consistent. I think the Lyrica is helping. I think it brought me out of shock this morning, and I think it’s helping with the pain. I don’t feel as much sharp, grinding pain as normal. Although I have been getting cycles lately with some OK days, so maybe it’s that. I wonder what the proper dose of 300/day would do for me. How do I get it? Pain mgmt doctors are terrible. She’s the one who gave me 50/day rather than the appropriate dose. Maybe primary care? Regardless though, it’s ultimately a mechanical problem that needs to be treated. No matter what the drug is, it’s always temporary. After Lyrica dropped off on Christmas day, that’s when things went super dark and bad for me for 2 straight fucking months. I’m a bit scared taking Lyrica right now because of that. Been reading about fibromyalgia. Pretty hard to get a diagnosis, especially with my health care. It’s often secondary to other stuff, like spine issues. I could have it. Constant headaches like I’ve been having are a symptom. Jaw pain like I have. I think I need to follow the treatment for it. See if I can get a proper dose of Lyrica and see how it goes. Gabapentin is terrible for me. So is Cymbalta. I tolerate Lyrica better, at least at lower doses. I’m trying to kind of rely on the Lyrica to carry me, and it’s not exactly working. A bit, yeah, but not great. Still a struggle. If I feel OK. tomorrow though, I’ll taper. I should make an appt with my PCP.