This is day 3 in a row now that I haven’t had caffeine, I’ve hit the inversion table first thing in the morning to get a good stretch in, and it put the magnesium oil on to relax the back after the table. This is a routine that seemingly worked well in the past. I did 2 short walks yesterday, and even though I brought my cane, I didn’t use it. I have the tiniest amount of mental energy to use on getting back up and out the door for some walks and better self care. Every time I’ve tried it in the last 4 months, I’ve been punished for it with horrible fibro flares and oppressive pain, so I’m super timid about even trying. Negative reinforcement is a bitch.
I broke my rule and did a morning short walk. It was pretty tough for the last block and a half and I relied on the cane. I’m getting better at not using the cane as much. I was in a much better place in December, but after Christmas, the pain has been so incredibly oppressive that it completely beat me down and I have been unable to do almost anything. I went 2 months without a single decent day after it started. I’ll have to think of a clever version of “Once bitten, twice shy” for that kind of oppressive pain. I absolutely need to get moving again though. I need to take a little pain for some gain. It’s super difficult though when a 1 mile walk in the morning sets off a 3 day fibromyalgia flare that leave you unable to even get out of bed. You have to walk a razor’s edge, and even if you get it right for now, it never lasts.
Did another short walk. That one stung. The pain at 4:00 is as bad as it was last night at 10:00. I’ve been taking ibuprofen right after my walks hoping to ease the pain and damage I’m causing. Short walk in the evening with an ice pack on. Yesterday the pain was really bad, but I still managed to be a little active. All the activity over the last few days is at the will of the fibro flares. I can fight pain like yesterday, but I can’t fight the fibro flares. They are simply too insane. As soon as a flare hits me again, we’ll start the cycle over again.
Managed another evening walk with an ice pack on. That one felt better than the middle walk. Tried playing games, but I was holding my breath from the pain. I can’t sit upright in a chair. That’s my life. I don’t know why the fibro flares have been at bay for a few days, but I’ll take it!