What an insane night of sleep. Pain was off the charts last night. I was worried it would flare me up again, but it didn’t. It just makes the recovery much slower and more difficult. I’m definitely feeling better though thankfully. I turned my PC on! Unknown if I’ll use it or not. I am so fucking burnt out it’s unreal. Today is recovery day part 2. Or yesterday was just a transition day and today is the recovery. When will the next flare hit? How bad will it be? How long will it last? How much recovery will my brain get before it hits?
Just did a church walk. That was one of the hardest walks I’ve ever done. All of 2 blocks and I am toasted. It felt so good to be able to get outside. The world looks completely different when you’re vertical (for the first time in 5 days). The world get so tiny when you’re hanging on to your bed for dear life. Everything just closes in on you. You get convinced you’re never going to be able to go outside again. I don’t know how I got through it, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next one. I’m barely just starting to breathe again. I can only hope I catch my breath enough to deal with the next one, but I never do. I don’t think it’s possible to prepare for the absolute nightmare of a fibromyalgia flare combined with insane spine pain. It completely stripped me of my humanity in only a day and a half.