Feels like a repeat of yesterday. I can’t shake this flare up. It is better than a few days ago, but it’s not good. I don’t know how to go from a not-horrible day to even a decent day, and I certainly don’t know how to achieve a good day. Those are nonexistent. I suppose I would be happy with not-horrible days. That’s about the best I can get, but the cracks in my sanity are still growing. The only thing that reverses those cracks is low-pain, good days. I feel very cracked up today. Because I didn’t have a decent start to the day, that started off a bit of a mental break down. I just don’t have what it takes to make it through days like this, even though they’re better than the worst days.
Tried playing some games and it started to hurt too much. I think I feel the fibro coming back around again. I never even fully made it out of the last flare up. Did a church walk to loosen up and it hurt like a motherfucker. How can I get movement into my body if I can’t walk? How can I function if I can’t even sit upright? I am so done with all this. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t handle it. I’ve served my time. I’ve suffered 8 lifetime’s worth already. I don’t know how I can take anymore. I don’t know how I can get through the days anymore. I have no more mental strength or energy. My tank is completely empty.