Finally got some sleep last night. It was terrible sleep, but it was sleep nonetheless. Sleep was non-existent for the last few days. Yesterday was a repeat of the previous days. I woke up so many times last night, but I could tell I was at least sleeping in between the wake ups. Maybe this is the start of getting back on track. Maybe the bullshit will just repeat itself. This gives me a minute to catch my breath. I don’t gain any mental energy. I can only chill out for a minute.
So far today really feels like I’m catching my breath. Like if you just ran a long race, and you’re at the finish line trying to recovery from the effort. You try to get your breathing under control, but at first it’s very difficult. You eventually start recovering and feel tired, but more normal. I’m in that phase of trying to get my breathing under control, but can’t quite get there. I’m just so exhausted and burned out. At best, today will be a transition day. Recovery doesn’t happen for a couple more days. Today still has aftershocks, plenty of pain, and difficulty getting through it, but by comparison to the previous few days, it feels like a relief.
I started tipping at about 11:30. I did a magnesium foot soak, then a shower, then put magnesium oil on my back. Had something to eat. I’m feeling like I’m back on the same track as this morning. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it going though. I might tip back at some point today. I guess that’s expected after dealing with the last several days.
I struggled to get to the afternoon meds. Those gave me a tiny boost, but that didn’t last long at all. I’ve been horizontal since about 5:30. I managed to cook some food finally. It’s been a few days. This pain and fibromyalgia are just so overwhelming. I had a break earlier today because I finally got some sleep for the first time in a few days, but that wasn’t going to carry me through. This is coming around again in full force. As always, all I can do is hope for some decent sleep tonight and hope tomorrow is a better day. The story of my life.