I think today should be the last day of the heavy anxiety. It will ramp up as the day goes on. The morning is starting off OK. Last night I was bouncing off the walls from anxiety. I went out for a walk in the rain. The anxiety entirely fueled me through it. It actually helped too. It really sucks when you get anxiety, but you’re stuck in place because you can’t move from the pain. All you can do is lay in bed and get kicked in the nuts, over and over.
Did a church walk. Much cooler today, thankfully. That high heat like yesterday works against me, plus I just hate it. I’ve been flat on my back for most of the summer. I sometimes wonder how much of it is the heat affecting me. Either physically or mentally. Or is it just coincidence. I’m feeling pretty caged up recently, so I’ve been wanting to do more walks. I haven’t been able to though unfortunately. Plus when I do get the walks in, it ends up increasing the pain a lot, so the negative reinforcement is always there.
And now I’m paying for the walk. The pain is ramping up pretty badly. I’ve been squirming for a while. Fucking typical. If this keeps up, it could trigger another flare up. I’m hitting the ibuprofen, icy hot, and magnesium oil. Everything I can throw at it. I’ll get another ice pack next time I make an effort to get up.
Whew. OK, I had a very difficult appointment to get through this evening, and it’s finished now. Thank fuck for that. That was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do in a while. I won’t talk about it. I went for a walk to try to recover from it, but I couldn’t get far and had to turn around. I think the anxiety should start to ramp down now. Tomorrow will still be difficult, but things should turn around – as long as another fibro flare up doesn’t hit, which is probable.