There’s no feeling like falling asleep after midnight, waking up and thinking to yourself, “Surely it must be like 5:00 or 6:00, right?”, then looking at the clock and seeing it’s 12:45 and you’ve only been asleep for 30 minutes. Trying to get sleep is truly like running a marathon overnight. You wake up tired, exhausted. You fight and fight just to get 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there. You remember waking up 30-40 times throughout the night. It’s so fucking painful.
I was able to halt the fibromyalgia flare up that started yesterday. I kept spamming ice packs and I took some magnesium. I haven’t been taking it proactively anymore. I nearly passed out on the floor in the evening, but when I got back up and kept using ice packs, it seems like the fibro started fading away. So I’ll keep going with these silly ice packs. It’s seeming like the ice packs are helping me, not the RF ablation procedures I had. If those aren’t helping me, then I’m not getting any pain relief, and I’m not going anywhere. It’s nice to have something that can help me temporarily, but I need a permanent treatment. I have no future without something permanent. I also can’t sleep with an ice pack, so that explains why sleep has been so rough.
I’ve been spamming ice packs today, and I haven’t had any positive results. I don’t know what it takes. I know since I haven’t been sleeping, I’m not recovering or healing, so I expect that to be an issue. But how does it work one day and not the next? Just like always, nothing makes sense. I feel like the flare up is coming back around. It seems like I maybe eased some of the symptoms yesterday, but the flare up goes away whenever it wants, and it’s not done yet.
Flare up is ramping up in the afternoon. It’s deep and strong. It’s actually scaring me. I know what flare ups like this are capable of. They can be super horrifying, and this one feels like it’s ramping up to be like that. Good chance this puts me into a panic attack this evening. Not sure how I’m going to get through it.