Still waiting for this ridiculous flare up to go away. Today is day 4, although it started in the evening 5 days ago. I only had a couple hours of it that day, so I won’t count that. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, but it was decent quality and I didn’t need any medication to get through the night. I don’t feel great today. I’m still waiting to see what the day will bring. Yesterday felt like a transition day. A ramp down of the flare. It kept coming back around though. Up and down all day. The evening got super difficult. It’s always harder later in the day because the pain and exhaustion accumulates throughout the day. Mornings are often better because of the sleep, although there are plenty of mornings when I wake up and just feel pure horror. I don’t feel that today, but I don’t feel at all good.
Boy am I wiped out. I feel like I’ve just been through 3 days of pure hell, which I have been, so this is appropriate. I have to dig super deep and burn all sorts of reserves to get through those days. I guess this is a recovery day. Nothing more. I’m so wiped out that I can barely move. So tired, exhausted. I really wish I could sleep more on these days. I’ll try for a nap a little later. I’m going to give in to the exhaustion for now. Try to let my body and brain recovery a bit. Then I’ll try to start moving later on. Thankfully, as the Social Security Administration said, I’m not disabled, so there’s nothing to worry about here! According to them, it would be so very easy for me to go to work! LMFAO. Fucking idiots. I haven’t even been able to go see an attorney because I’ve been too wrecked from pain and fibromyalgia.
Took a muscle relaxant and ended up falling asleep. Terrible sleep. Constant wake ups. But somehow I feel a little better for it. Slightly refreshed. I’ve had to force this process in the past. When I get good sleep, I get more good sleep. When I don’t get sleep, I get less sleep. If I force the sleep part, it can be really bad sleep at first, but simply getting more of it can start the process of getting more sleep. It’s an absolute curse.
I used the energy boost from the nap to get in the shower, eat for the first time, and then get outside for a walk. I had a tiny bit of energy for the walk, but I think I just burned through it all. It felt decent though. I think this is all putting me back on the right track. I haven’t had a flare up this bad in a while. I think there are reasons for this one, which is good because I can avoid those things. Usually the flare ups seems to be purely random. Those absolutely kill me. If another one of those hits me anytime soon, that will totally ruin me.