The fibro flare up is better today. It’s on the way down. Not finished yet by any means. When I woke up I could feel there was less ‘noise’. Tinnitus and vertigo are actually symptoms of fibromyalgia. The tinnitus is better today. There’s an additional sort of noise though that comes with a flare up, and when the flare up starts fading out, it’s like a loud thunderstorm starting to fade off into the distance as it moves on. It’s the horror starting to fade. Also, the way I measure my pain scores is not arbitrary. I have two methods. One of those methods is not really how much pain I have, it’s the volume of my screams of horror. Imagine your home stereo being at a 10 – the maximum volume. When my screams of horror are that loud, that’s how they get the number of an 8 or 9. However, at a 10, my screams stop and I hit the floor and pass out. I don’t throw around 10s very lightly. I know people will say their pain is an 11, or their hangnail is a 10. That cheapens an actual 10. A 10 is where all fight ceases. Movement ceases. You will collapse to the floor wherever you are and quickly pass out. When you come to, you won’t be able to move for some time. You won’t be able to scream. Once you’re able to get up off the floor, the screaming will resume. Today is a quieter day, but the noise is still bothering me.
So I’d say I’m at an 8.5 right now. I’m tired and I’m fried. My brain is overworked from handling so much pain that is lasting for so long. I had been watching a streamer on Twitch play a game that I play and understand very well. He has failed a few times at it, which is normal. I’ve watched about 3 hours between yesterday and today. I only just noticed how this particular map works, and how the mechanics work. I have been watching without being able to understand any of it. It’s like when you read a book distracted and find you’ve read 5 pages and you don’t know anything about what you have just read. It’s ‘hearing’, but not ‘listening’. It’s a severely impaired cognitive ability. The fact that the ability comes back over time proves it’s not something like dementia. Many fibromyalgics worry they have dementia. The toll this disease takes is unbelievable. And nobody cares about it.
Lyrica finally started working at about noon. I felt distinctly better pretty suddenly. I’m 4 doses in now. I think this is right on time based on past experience. Unfortunately, based on past experience, it will work for about a week, then suddenly drop off. It’s a miracle drug for that week, then it’s worthless. It doesn’t become a burden like other medications can. At least not until you try to stop taking it. It’s a difficult one to stop, but not horrible. Not as bad as anti-depressants, but not great. I’ve never gotten past 100mg per day on Lyrica, and the normal therapeutic dose for fibromyalgia is around 300mg. Some people go higher. I don’t know if my doctor will come through and titrate me up high enough, and sustain the prescriptions long enough for me to get any benefit from the medication.
I tried to take advantage of feeling a bit better and went to the store. That was a mistake. That hurt a lot. I wasn’t ready for that. Sometimes I feel better than I am. Especially when I come off these terrible stretches. The second I feel a bit better, I try to catch up on things, but it often goes bad like this.
I still feel terrible. I can feel the Lyrica covering up the fibro flare just a little bit. It makes me feel better than I have been feeling, but I can still feel the fibro behind and it is still fairly horrifying. I guess the Lyrica only covers it up. It doesn’t actually treat the fibro. It doesn’t seem to be relieving the pain from it either. Just a bit of lip stick on the hog. I’m not sure right now if it’s any better. I have fibro and Lyrica side effects at the same time. I guess the side effects at least get easier, but of course the fibro never does.