So far it has been a repeat of yesterday, which is good. Sleep was better quality, but I got less of it. I’ve been trying to sleep on my floor futon, but it hasn’t been going all that great. I went the longest on it last night. It has a way of stretching out some soft tissues in the trunk that normally don’t get stretched. It’s pretty intense. I had to take ibuprofen at about 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep for about an hour after. But the sleep I got up until 4:00 was better quality. Floor sleeping aligns the spine much better, but being a side sleeper, it causes your hips and ribs to press hard into the floor. Double edged sword really. I really want it to work because of the benefits. I’ll keep pushing bit by bit until I can make it through the night. When the futon is comfortable, it’s the most comfortable thing I’ve ever experienced. When it’s uncomfortable, I want to throw it out the window.
Did a church walk a while ago. I went without the cane and I regret it. It was very painful. I put on some icy hot and took some ibuprofen. I’ve been keeping up with the ibuprofen as much as I can to hopefully control any inflammation. I haven’t walked without the cane for a month or so already. I made a big push a while back to be able to walk without it, but that blew up in my face, just like it always does. That feels like it was a year ago. I don’t even know how long ago it was. My brain has a way of forgetting quite a lot of things when I’m dealing with pain levels this high.
I’m feeling some anxiety right now. I think this is 2 decent days in a row, so I’m expecting the fibromyalgia and pain to ramp back up. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. It is so disheartening and demoralizing knowing that it will hit me again, and that it will be so soon. It takes 2 or 3 decent days in a row before I can finally start to enjoy the low pain levels and start to add some fuel to my mental energy tank. There’s always a lag period before any recovery actually happens. I always fear that I won’t be able to add anything to the tank, and I always fear the impending doom of a major fibromyalgia flare that is just around the corner. I can’t ever relax because of it. This is one of the places anxiety is born inside a chronic pain patient.