Just came home from the procedure. That was fun. I woke up this morning and the pain felt like someone took a red hot sword straight out of a forge and shoved it into my spine. I immediately felt the fibromyalgia flared up.
The procedure was pretty intense. They only did half of it. It would have been pretty difficult to get through the other half. The pain from the procedure was really extreme. They test the placement by shocking the shit out of the nerves. Then they burn it, and it felt exactly like a nerve was burning inside my back. There were 3 vertebral levels done. I have to wait another 6 weeks to get the other half done.
My doctor is referring me to pain psychology because, “If this doesn’t work, we’re screwed.” Not good when your pain management doctor tells you that, but it’s something I’ve known for quite some time. If this doesn’t work, I’m proper fucked. Potentially I can go back to spine surgery and see if they’re interested, but if the pain management procedure doesn’t work, there’s little chance a surgery would. At that point I have no clue what I would do. I regret selling my camper van. As I get closer and closer to bankruptcy, I keep thinking how beneficial it would be to have that van so I can leave cheap. This apartment of mine will soon be a thing of the past.
It will take maybe a couple weeks to get the full benefit of the procedure. The pain will be increased over the next couple days. No doubt the fibromyalgia will be at full power. I’m now wondering if I’ve been foolish to think somebody/something might actually help me. It would have been much better to expect nothing to help, then be pleasantly surprised. It’s extremely difficult to live that way though. I spend a lot of time living in denial, but there’s a purpose to it. It’s just too hard not to. And to that point, I’m going to switch back to optimism and look forward to a pain reduction from this procedure, and look forward the getting the second half done in 6 weeks.
I passed out pretty hard after I got home. I went to bed and was out within a minute. I was out for about an hour and a half. I feel better after waking up. Very groggy. I didn’t get any sedation for the procedure, this was just passing out from the pain and trauma of the procedure. Whew.
Procedure pain has been super strong. I’ve been putting ice packs on when I can. Between this added pain and the added anxiety offered up by my doctor, this has turned into a very difficult day. Not many better ways to stoke your anxiety than by having your doctor saying you are potentially screwed. He has never believed in any kind of treatment for me the whole time. He didn’t even want to do the initial injections, and he said he wouldn’t do the RF ablation. I don’t know why he changed his mind on that one.
It’s only 7:00, and I can’t wait until this day is over. This is some very brutal spine pain. I’ve hardly eaten anything all day. I can barely move. And I have the same exact thing to look forward to tomorrow. I ended up flopped out on the floor futon. I always end up on the floor when the pain is super bad. Gravity seems to work harder when you’re at your worst. I can’t find any comfortable positions though. Everything hurts. I’m sure I won’t get any sleep tonight.