I’m in a bad sleep cycle where I wake up at 5am and can’t get back to sleep. The spine pain is really bad, especially on my left side. I can only sleep on my sides, so I’m sure I’m spending too much time in those positions. This is one of those catch 22 positions I always find myself in. I’m also still sweating through the night. That has never been a normal thing, but it’s been around since the surgery. Very slow start to the day because of the sleep issues, but it’s 12:30 and I’ve already showered, eaten, and just did a church walk. Probably one of the most productive days I’ve had in a couple weeks. This doesn’t seem like much, and it’s laughable for a healthy person, but it’s big for me. Sometimes these things never happen throughout an entire day.

I’ve been pushing the walks more lately. I pretty much totally wrote them off a few months ago. The negative reinforcement got the better of me. Every time I tried to do anything physical, I was met with extreme pain and a week-long fibromyalgia flare up. It is still definitely flaring up the pain, even with these very short walks. They are maybe 1 block walks. The pain builds throughout the day, and the more walks I do, or trips to the store, the worse the pain gets throughout the day as it accumulates. I used to use an ice pack to get through the walks, but that allows me to push past the limits my pain would normally allow, and that leads to bigger problems later.

I felt super tired after dinner. I ended up on the futon in the living room. The sleep issues are accumulating. Maybe my brain is running out of adrenaline finally. I did a church walk. There were moments where I felt OK, and moments where I nearly screamed out loud from the horrifying levels of spine pain.

By Del

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