I think 4 rums last night. I desperately needed it Unfortunately. Sleep was OK. There’s a very fine line with alcohol between helping sleep and totally ruining it. Pain this morning felt worse than yesterday, but the fibro felt better this morning. 1130 now and that’s fading. Fibro is ramping up, and pain is still bad. Gonna be another nasty day. Grogginess is heavy from the Lryica. It’s not helping like the first week. I’ll try to get used to it and give it the 2 weeks it needs to truly take affect. If it still doesn’t do anything, then I’ll stop taking it. Hard to push through the heavy, groggy stuff. Really weighs me down. I feel paralyzed today. I can’t get past that. I really want to play some games. I don’t think I’ll be able to. Pain is already making me squirm. Fuck, just a little reprieve. Please. This shit is relentless. I do feel like I would feel a bit better without the Lyrica side effects. I think the ice pack I have on is the only thing helping. Since I increased to 100mg Lyrica per day, I haven’t had much of an appetite. I only ate once today and had some sorbet. I’ll force myself soon. Cooked a pizza and nearly threw it away before it was even done. I forced myself to eat some of it. Fucking disgusting. I feel like I have to stop taking the Lyrica. I think it’s driving me fucking crazy. Pain actually seems worse now, and I’m in a constant fog. I should probably stick with it, but it was when I stopped Lyrica in December that I started my 2 month period of constant horror without any decent days. I haven’t had a decent day in several days now. I feel like I could have without the meds. Spent most of the day fucking with the website. I even broke it and locked myself out, but got back in by pure luck. My back is killing me so bad. I’ve had ice on it a lot. Been on the couch or recliner. Oh man, I don’t know how to fix it. I’m supposed to see family tomorrow for Easter, and it’s very doubtful I can make it. The pain meds are doing fuck all these days. Just like when I quit lyrica before, except now I’m still on it and in larger doses. What the hell do I do? Absolutely nothing helps anymore. I’m going to lose my fucking mind if I don’t get some sort of relief. I will go properly insane. Pain meds have usually kept that from happening. And with the low amounts I’ve been on for a little bit, you would think the increased amounts I’m taking now would help.