I’m so fucking tired. I can’t get more than 5 hours of fractured sleep. It’s been almost a month since I had any kind of normal sleep. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. Please just let me fucking sleep.
Now that I’m awake, I can feel the spine pain in full force. It’s making me cross-eyed. It was making me tear up when I got out of bed. Now I see why. Never a good way to start the day.
My copium right now is that the few decent days I had before the procedure were caused by an improvement from the RF ablation I had in July. The decent few days I had after the procedure were caused by the cortisone injections they did after the second round of ablation. Once the cortisone wore off, the surgical pain set in. Now I have to wait for the second part of the procedure to heal. It took 5 weeks the first time before I felt any relief. Copium has become my drug of choice these days, so that’s why I’m dwelling on it. I don’t know if I’m correct, but I’m hoping so. That’s the only way I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Things are just not getting easier. I thought I might be catching a break last night, but then today has been pure hell. Things are just getting harder as the day goes on. It’s only 5:00 and I’m sitting here wondering how I’m going to get through the rest of the day. I have no clue right now.