I had a good night yesterday, but was cautious about what could happen the next day. Just because I feel decent one day doesn’t mean anything about the next. Sure enough I woke up at 6:00 and within minutes I could feel the horror. I could tell there was no way I would get back to sleep with such high levels of pain. This is another fibro flare up. I only had 2 days of recovery from the last flare up, which lasted 7 days. 7 days of pure hell, followed by 2 difficult recovery days, followed by another flare up. Length of time TBD. That last flare up really cooked my brain. Like really badly. I’m not anywhere near ready to take another one of these on. These are the stretches that completely ruin me in every way. All I can do now is hope it doesn’t last long and try to keep myself on the rails as best as I can. See you in another week probably.

Just took some meds and crashed pretty hard on my futon. I didn’t have any caffeine today. I was too tired to even try. I was so tired too. I guess those meds hit me in a good way and I crashed for about 25 minutes. Thank goodness for that. I really needed it. I feel better for it. Definitely not a pass out. I do not feel good after coming out of one of those. Those things hit me within 10-15 seconds after I start feeling it. Those mess me up for the rest of the day. This was an unexpected nap.

Feeling better after that nap. I think some of this has to do with the latest medication protocol I’ve been on. It’s supposed to help purge bad stuff out of your cells, but when it does, it floods your body with the bad stuff, and it can cause flare ups and make your symptoms worse while this happens. Then it gets filtered out by the kidneys, and the cycle resets and restarts. This can explain the ups and downs I’ve been having. Within the same day I can have 3 or 4 surges of the flare up, which isn’t normal. Usually it’s just pegged at the maximum and stays there for several days. It doesn’t let up at all for anything until it’s ready. I had been taking a higher than normal dose of this new medication when that monster flare up hit a week before my birthday. The day before my birthday I skipped the evening dose, then went to a lower dose the next day. Other than not getting sleep, I felt OK on my birthday. Then I went back up to the high dose again, then this flare up happened. I went to the lower dose this morning, and in the afternoon I’m better. It all tracks, but I’m not confident about it yet. Even if it is working, it’s a very, very long road to recovery, so it’s not even worth worrying about at this point. If it is the medication doing this, then that is good news for the long run. I would need to go through a lot of these “clearing” cycles, which can be worse than my normal flare ups, and I just can’t handle that right now so soon after that last monster flare up. I need some recovery time first.

Headache coming out of nowhere in the evening. The same thing happened last week at the end of the flare up. Usually they come with the fibro flare ups, not after. Hopefully this doesn’t advance like the last one did. That one turned into a proper migraine.

Still a hard evening. I’m so burned out from flare ups, how/why ever they’re happening. That last 7 day flare up just killed me. It took everything I had. I just need recovery, and I haven’t gotten any. I barely moved today. I just couldn’t. Everything hurts. It hurts my brain to move and to even think about it. That’s how fibromyalgia goes. That’s what it’s about. And I’m burnt from it.

And an hour and a half after I took the evening dose of this medication, I feel the flare up coming back around. This has to be the medication. Fibromyalgia has never quite affected me like this. It was always constant. It never cycled throughout the day multiple times like this. Boy this is brutal. I need a break between these cycles. They feel like my worst flare ups. Over and over. It’s going to be a rough night again. I wouldn’t doubt that I wake up early again and can’t get back to sleep. Or maybe the medication will wear off over night and I’ll be fine up until a while after I take the morning meds? I’m not looking forward to this, but I think it’s working exactly like it’s supposed to. If that’s the case, then this is good news, but it will be a very long time until this settles out.

By Del

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