Bad sleep last night. The cold days are making it really dry inside now. I put on the humidifier, but I guess I waited too long. It messed with my breathing while I was sleeping somehow. Fibro was low though, but spine pain was high. Fibromyalgia excites all the nerves in your body, so when you’re in a flare up, you kind of feel pain everywhere. It’s hard to pinpoint a pain source. It’s kind of like your whole body is on fire. When the fibro eases up, then I can feel the localized pain much more. I can pinpoint it and feel it strongly. I haven’t had any stretches without fibro for a long time. I think if the fibro was low for a couple weeks, the spine pain would ease up just a bit. I don’t really know though since I’ve only had 5 days in a row without a flare up. What a dream to have more than a week without a flare up. It’s all so impossible to me. It’s about time to start the ice packs. The nerve pain feels like a dentist drill going off in my spine. The other achy pain feels like 2 chef’s knives jammed into my back on either side of my lumbar spine. Feels really good when I try to walk. Then the intense spine pain will cause a fibro flare up. One triggers the other and creates a feedback loop. I don’t know how to stop it. I’m always caught in the middle.
I woke up with a mild headache. I didn’t think much of it, but it’s been slowly getting worse. Headaches have been the red flag warning of a flare up starting. I don’t think I feel a flare up yet, but I’m sure it’s right around the corner. It never ends. Never. I was going to give the guaifenesin one last try. I was trying to give myself a few days without it to recover. I’m not sure I’ve recovered at all really. Today is 5 days off. If I’m going into a flare anyway, I might just restart it. This time I’m going to take more. The idea is that small amounts are enough to pull the shit out of your cells, but not enough to purge it through the kidneys. Adding a bit more will charge up the kidneys and help them excrete the garbage. I have zero confidence it will happen. Just trying to figure out now whether to start it tonight or tomorrow. If I’m already tanking, then why not start it now. This fucking fibro cycle is so incredibly maddening. It never stops. I never get long enough breaks. It just keeps hitting and hitting. Right in the nuts.
I’ve had about 2-1/2 days without a flare. That’s pretty much average. This is fucking ridiculous. I don’t know how I survive these things. How can one live when they’re on fire constantly? Who can survive that much pain? Every time these start up, I don’t know how I’m going to make it through. Every time it eases up, I never know why, and I don’t know how I just survived it. I never know why the next one starts up. Pure insanity. Now I’m going to panic take the medication that has been causing me so many problems because it occasionally makes things better. Small amounts treat me badly, so I’m taking more? I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I’m doing it anyway. It’s all pure insanity and I can’t find any way out of it.