Had a super odd night’s sleep. It has been weird for the last several nights. Probably all the alcohol. Lots of short cycles. For a few nights, I got a couple hours of normal sleep before that started. Last night was all short cycles from the start. Slept until 7:30 though and felt OK. I sweated a lot. We’ll find out as the nights go if that’s the kratom or alcohol. I don’t feel any of that full body panic feeling all day today. Did a long walk this morning after the 3.5g of kratom. Then saw Asteroid City, picked up a prescription, had lunch, did a medium walk, doing laundry now. Shopped for shoes too, but had to order those online. Productive day. I feel good for getting out. The people at the theater were not working hard. Makes me think that would be an OK job. Selling tickets/taking tickets. Maybe something part time, or retail for a while to see how it goes. Just to stop the bleeding. I worry about money so much. Kratom gives me an itchy nose. I don’t really remember that one from before. The day is young, so let’s see how that panic feeling goes. I think it will fade away. I think some of these issues are from all the drugs in my system. As they all fade away, things will get better. Sweat is OK right now. Nearly dry feet after everything today. I expect that to go to “normal” once the kratom is in me. Pain getting bad around 5:30. Panic feeling came back a bit at about 6pm. Put ice pack on and it eased up a bit. I’m super bored, so that doesn’t help. I want to see if this hits me later and later as things normalize. I was able to avoid the panic today. Partly by relaxing on the recliner. I just went with it. Nobody good to watch on twitch. Then I went for another walk. 11.5 total today. It hurts, but I feel good about it. I felt especially good on the last one. Saying hello to neighbors. Good vibes. I need to be out in public more. Not just walking. It’s good for me. It pushes me out of my “comfort zone”, but I’m not that comfortable with that anyway. Maybe a game or two then the bedtime routine. I made it through the best in a month. *I should note – as I sit here at 9:30, I feel good. Mentally, and OK physically. Even after everything today. I feel the exact same as I did on my amazing week. Maybe a bit more pain. Absolutely amazing that I got this after such a brutal week. Same stuff happening to me with different drugs. It makes me like kratom more. I guess this is the honeymoon period. I couldn’t make it past 6 days before. Maybe it will be the same now. Maybe the low dose is helping more mentally. I just wanted to note how similar it feels.