Bad sleep last night. I kept having like central apnea or something. Kept waking up gasping for breath. Put the CPAP on and it didn’t make a difference. I somehow felt better on my back. Really shitty. I eventually started sleeping normally. Woke up at 7:45. Pain was almost terrifying waking up. Took 6g kratom at 9am. 11am and I am in a lot of pain. Verging on horrifying. I will probably take 4 or 5g at noon or something. I don’t see how I can last until 3 or 4. It’s been something else lately. 4g at 11:45. I barely feel anything. I think it will hold me until 4. Was about to eat earlier and totally lost my appetite from pain. 6.5g at 4pm. It held me over pretty well. 9:40 and still feel OK. Still have that exhausted pain feeling, but not as bad. Maybe I was just running low on drugs because of the ash and I had to top back up. Let’s hope tomorrow goes normally. I can’t dose 3 times a day. That’s too much. I still want to be off this shit and not looking forward to going through withdrawals. Higher dose equals harder withdrawals. I’m almost 4 weeks now all of a sudden. I cleaned the kitchen sink, bathroom sink and shower. Had a bit of energy. Also the Tour de France is over today, so I was kind of avoiding the post Tour depression I always get. Best to not think about it and move on.

By Del