Tough morning. Bad pain still in bed. Took 6.5g at 9 or something. Felt like I needed more, but didn’t take any. Was dying by 11, so I took 3.5g at noon. Then 7.5 at 4. +1g after 35 minutes. I feel off mentally right now. I have some shaky hands. Amazing how you can go from feeling OK mentally to feeling crazy in a few minutes. I feel very strong mental issues right now. Makes me wonder if that psychosis I had in the winter was all the drugs causing it. I guess this happens when you hit high amounts. Too many/too strong side effects. I think I need to make a plan to stop for a while. The injections aren’t anywhere close, and I don’t have any kind of pain relief in sight any other way. This definitely starts the panic cycle. I guess maybe just a tolerance break. I don’t want to go through 5 days of hell only to start back up. I need to use alcohol to treat the pain otherwise. I don’t have the mental strength to do it sober. The pain is just too bad. I don’t want these strong mental effects to take over and cause damage. I’ve been good otherwise. I also don’t want to increase my dose way high and make it impossible to quit. I can maybe take the ash and ag and suffer through 1 day like I did last week. Then on day 2 I can use whatever. I’ll have to start drinking at 9am. I just don’t know how to get by without help. Had a short walk with ice. Mellowing out from that bad peak. Probably just too much. I didn’t get any pain relief at first, so I needed more. Then it was too much. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. That describes me to a T. I know I’m very close to quitting again. I need to get a plan down. Maybe go shopping tomorrow and start prepping. Shopping usually increases my pain a lot. Get a box of wine or something stupid. After a week? Been thinking tons about quitting. No idea what to do. I’ll stick with the status quo for now. I’ll spend the day tomorrow obsessing over this. Think of an actual plan. Preferably other than just drinking for a couple weeks then going back.