Sleep wasn’t great. Some wake ups. Up at 7:15, but I was able to doze off kind of until 7:45. Took lipo c at 7:15. Went to 9:30 before taking kratom. No real response from it, but it calmed down the desire for it. Pain is bad, but manageable for the moment. Did the table, icy hot, brace. No improvement. Fucked up the VPN on the server and spent an hour fixing that. Been messing with this while sitting totally stationary in my desk chair. Lots of pain. Feel like I haven’t taken enough kratom. This is what a taper would feel like for a month. If the pain weren’t bad, I could probably get used to it. I have a new bag of kratom with a higher %, so I’ll have to adjust my dose. Down by .5 or 1g to start. Probably in 2 days. Short walk. Pain is bad. Borderline 8. Took 7.5g at 3:10. Just about hit panic levels. I definitely needed to up the dose today. I’m curious what happens if I don’t. Without pain relief, I imagine I’ll spiral. Tomorrow should be 7.5/8.5. When is that day off? Gonna be a long night. 5:00 and I’m not good. Ice pack is keeping it together. Only 1 ice pack left. I just don’t feel good. Pain will ramp up later. No relief from the table or walking. Maybe at 8pm again? Long walk at 6:15. Felt great for the first 2/3. Slow home. Putting the ice pack higher up. I could definitely feel the pain at those higher levels on my way home. Wondering if I could stay at this current dose for 5 days and see what happens. Then drop 1g for another 5. Without the pain, I think I could get used to it after 3-5 days. I could handle today 5 days in a row. Only if it gets better at some point in the afternoon like it kind of did today. CT only gets worse as the day goes on. If it doesn’t get any better, then game over. 2 rums after games.

By Del