Woke up roasting at 5. Half Zanaflex at 6:30. Another half 30 minutes later. Woke up 9:15. I’m feeling really run down waking up the last couple days. But I don’t feel I’ve overdone it at all. 5.5g at 9:50. Slow wake ups these last few days, but it’s paid off. Long walk. Greens with lunch. Had a boost after lunch from it. Long walk again. Pain is right on the edge. Mental state is staying good and helping me through. These last few days I haven’t felt that sort of high from pain relief I normally get. This has been really flat. Lots of effort on my part, but it’s been working. I probably need to get horizontal. Just called all the numbers I had for pain mgmt docs and none of them take my insurance, or they are the wrong number. Some people laughed at me. So I’m super fucked there. I have to stick with Loyola until I can somehow find something else. Maybe I need to buy Blue Cross insurance. God all the money I’m bleeding. I’ve been super hot inside today. Not sure where all this overheating is coming from. I guess the kratom, but it hasn’t been an issue until lately. 6g at 3:30. I don’t know what to do tomorrow. Taper puts me at 5g am, 6pm. I fucked it up yesterday. I feel like I needed the kratom this pm. Yesterday the time flew right by me. Not sure if I’m tipping or what. I don’t feel great right now. Little motivation. 33 minutes on the bike after dinner. Felt some endorphins after that. Same feeling as pain relief. Long walk in the evening. Time on the couch. I’m pretty tired. Kind of worn out. Fine by me. Pain is holding out. The longest I’ve gone like this was 6 days in the summer on psychedelics. It never lasts.

By Del