Double half at 6:30. Woke up 9:45. Holy fuck did I feel wrecked. More than ever. Got up to pee and didn’t have balance. That could be Lyrica. I don’t know if it’s helping or hurting. 5/5.5 yesterday. Thinking 4.7. I think I’m relying on the kratom for energy and maybe Lyrica is zapping it. Might be a problem. I want like 5.5 to fix the energy problem. 5g at 10:20. I feel so fucking wrecked. I might stop the Lyrica. It might also be what is helping me. Had some sugar and feel slightly more human. I am demolished. I’m not going to take Lyrica tonight. Maybe for a couple days. I need to see if it’s fucking me up. I don’t now how to get used to this. It’s such a small dose too. Typical problem with any psych drugs or gabapentin. Went to store. Medium walk. I am so fucking exhausted. If this drug is helping the pain, then I have to figure out if I can get used to this exhaustion. Maybe I can push past it. Need to go to my uncle’s house today in Wheaton. Going to try to limit my time there. Leave at 4:15. Got home 7:30. Straight on the bike. I felt better when I got home. More energy. About 10 minutes into the ride, I started dying. I cannot generate power. I could barely handle level 6, where I did 7 a few days ago. I kept at it, and when I finally looked at the time, it was 40 something minutes. I thought it was 30. I kept going and beat the time and calorie records. Smashed them. 62 minutes. Not sure how. Back was hurting the entire time. I decided to not take the Lyrica tonight. If I feel slightly better tomorrow morning, then I’ll know. The problem is that maybe it was helping me actually. Helping me with pain, but dragging me down with energy. I read it makes people put on weight, so that might explain the insane appetite I’ve had. Maybe I felt better just because of my cycle.

By Del