I forgot about the caffeine I had yesterday. Could not sleep until after 1. Half zanny and ibu at 7:30. Woke up 10. 5.5g at 10:30. I stared at that kratom and said “I don’t believe I still take drugs.” This sucks so bad, especially after having a decent week where I could eat well and cycle. Started feeling better at noon. Felt like the 2 hour post bump. Got out to the grocery store. Still feel better at 1:45. Maybe the storm is breaking. That was a really bad one. And now I’m ready with good food and a good exercise bike to get back into it. I need a fucking break right now, but I’ll give it a go. There were no amazing pops on the table. Just the cycle turning. I wish I could understand it. Thankful to catch my breath. Sitting at desk hurts. 3:00 and I’m ready for more meds. Even though I didn’t dose until 10. 6.5g at 3:30. 45 minutes on the bike. Good intensity. I pushed it, and it pushed back a bit. Been a few days, plus new equipment, but it was OK. Back hurts from it. Long walk. Legs hurt in a good way. Back hurts. Normal pain I guess. Strong 7. If I could get to this point without drugs, that would be cool. I don’t know how to do that.

By Del