Couldn’t fall asleep again. Constantly waking up all fucking night. Finally up at 8:15. What the fuck is going on. Furnace fucking up again this morning. Maybe there is some low level CO? Sleep was ridiculous. So bad. Feels pretty horrifying this morning. Texted landlord about furnace. I feel fried. Great thing to feel first thing. 7.5g at 9:45. I just can’t get any traction lately. I think I would be feeling better if not for the sleep issues. New CO detector with readout. No CO. I was kind of hoping that was it. I have been disoriented lately. Didn’t feel good today. I turned the t-stat off, then went to the store. When I came home, heat was on. Fucking impossible. Hasn’t magically turned on since I’ve been home. So sick of who/whatever it is out there that is fucking with me. So tired of it. Leave me the fuck alone. Rearranged furniture. When I couldn’t fall asleep last night, I said fuck it. I thought better of it this morning, but then said fuck it again. I haven’t slept one good night since I changed it. Maybe it’s in my head, but whatever. My rib hurts so fucking much. Actually hurting more than the spine. Happy to have the distraction actually, but it’s only 1:45 now. Waahhh. I need to swap things left to right on my desk now that the desk is on the opposite side. That’s work I don’t want to do. 8.5g at 3:30. I certainly didn’t need this extra pain and stress on my body. But I am worn out, tired, fried, cooked. A day off usually makes the drugs work better afterwards, in addition to resetting tolerance a bit. It needs to happen soon. 4:30 and I feel almost ‘high’ enough to sit and do stuff, but the pain underneath won’t allow it. Please just let me sleep, get good pops on the table, and hard taper. Fuck me. The ONE thing that offered SOME help isn’t working anymore. I just got up and felt like I had been drinking for a while. I said, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on”, which is exactly what I always said when I was taking ketamine. Am I on drugs, in a coma, or just this insane? Any which way, rum is about to start. And I have a mild headache already. Great setup. I wonder what pile of shit will be shoved in my mouth tomorrow…