Pretty much same sleep. Half zanny at 4 and 7. Up for about 1.5 hours total. Up at 9. 6.5g at 10. Not horrifying, but not good. I did not recover from that terrible month. I had 2 days of playing a couple hours of games. I need more than that. I don’t feel like I’m in control of myself at all. I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. I need more time with my feet on the ground. A lot more. Had about 3 minutes where I thought I could game. No fucking way. Really struggling. 2:45. God, help. We are definitely right back to the oppressive stuff. Thank goodness I got that sleep, otherwise… 7.5g at 3:15. No effect 40 minutes later. Fuuuck. Going to be a hard night. Going to switch to new kratom tomorrow. I think this recent streak was because I changed kratom types, or because of the 2 half days off. Also time to up the dose again. Even with the pops on the table over the last few days, there is no relief. I can’t break out of this insane cycle. OK, this is really bad. 5:40 and I am way over my limit. I’m feeling pretty desperate. Did a short walk to burn off some of that panic. Just feeling fried right now. Probably will have some rum.