I felt like the fibromyalgia flare was easing up last night, but I’m not sure. I also feel like it this morning, but still not sure. There are always aftershocks that follow, so it’s always hard to tell. The pain feels pretty bad, but if the fibro flare eases up, I will be able to fight the pain and work my pain management routines to handle it. This is another day that could go either way, and I’m going to try to push it in the right direction.

Made a trip to the store, picked up lunch, and eventually did a short walk. The walk was pretty hard. I used the cane for the last 2 blocks. Really hurting afterwards. Fibro flare I think has faded, but the pain remains. How? What made the flare up happen, and how did if fade away? I didn’t change anything. I didn’t do anything to cause it. The pain is still here and pretty strong. It just doesn’t make any sense. I guess that’s what fibromyalgia is. Nonsensical, life stopping pain.

Pain put me horizontal by 2:30. It’s not the fibro flare-up insanity, but I just couldn’t stay upright. The pain always wins. It always knocks me down eventually. These days it’s much sooner than later. This feels like 2 days ago when I could feel the fibro come out of nowhere and ramp up in the afternoon and evening. It put me in crisis mode by 8:30. I don’t know if I’m slipping right back into a flare up or what. I love how I’m rewarded for having intense 9/10 pain by getting a fibromyalgia flare that puts me up to a 10. Fucking lovely.

I definitely was far down the fibro road a little while ago, but the pain meds and ice pack started helping the pain quite a bit and it eased up the flare up. I still don’t know which way it’s going to go. I forced a short walk. I’m glad to have done it, but it did hurt. I think I reversed the flare up. That might be the first time I did that.

I haven’t been able to get back vertical. Pain is really bad, but the fibromyalgia is holding off. I thought today could go either way, but I didn’t think it would go both ways multiple times. Another day where I can only focus on getting through. Today turned out better than it could have, but I still can’t make any progress and the cycle continues.

By Del

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